Funny things that happen only in Nigeria – Add yours

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  • #3763

    control
    Keymaster

    Only in Naija

    1. No one is more respectful than a person who comes to borrow money from you… He can even greet ur dog “Hello bingo how are you, how was ur night??” #Lol**

    2. I paid a dear friend a visit. His wife served us supper with plenty meat, yet their kids had only sliced onions n tomatoes on their meals to eat. After the meal, I asked my friend why we had this plenty meat and his kids had none. He said “what should I do, when they say they won’t eat lizards
    I’m still vomiting

    3. #GIRLS!!
    This black lipstick is not for every lady, some of u end up looking like dogs or traditional healers…

    4. Where are those slay queens that lost their virginity cos of iPhone 7… Now iPhone 8 is out, hope u ready to loose ur destiny? #Smh_4_U

    5. You bought iPhone 7 this morning and in the evening it fell into water.. Don’t worry too much, just take the earphone and hang your self. #Hehehehehe…

    6. So u deleted ur Bible App to download Snapchat, I hope u also download a filter that can reduce the heat temperature inside Hell??

    7. #GUYZZZ!
    How can you chase a girl for 4 years…? Is she your university degree?? #Ah_Ah!

    8. U see a 7-year-old girl singing “My money, my body na ur own baby”… when I was her age I was singing ” My head my shoulders, my kneel my toes, they all belongs to Jesus”. #I_Tire_For_This_Generation_Oooo!

    9. That moment when you are having trust issue and then your girlfriend updates her status “I love God” then your mind will now start telling you “It can’t be God in heaven, it could be Godstime or Godswill or probably Godspower. #Lmao**

    10. Everything is changing in Nigeria! PREGNANCY is no longer 9 months..
    Somebody will marry in December and give birth in MARCH #LetMeComingAndBeGoing

    11. #GUYzzzz
    Before U marry a fair Nigerian lady, ask for her Jss3 pictures so that you’ll predict your kid’s true color.
    Say No to 419. :like:

    12. New ways of crossing roads in Nigeria… Check sideways for motors, look up for plane crash, look down for bombs, look back for kidnappers and then run zig-zag to dodge bullets and pot-holes. #JustThinkingTho**

    13. That awkward moment when you finished smoking weed and decided to iron all your cloths, when you are through you realized u have been ironing without turning on the switch… your village witches will just whisper in your hear ‘Is our work o”. #Hehehehehe…

    14. Dear smokers, the kidney you are damaging with cigarettes why not sell it and buy iPhone 8… you can’t be poor and useless…
    Think about it…

    15. Girls are always complaining there are no nice guys. There are nice guys everywhere. The problem is that your eyelashes are too much. Don’t insult me ooo, I’m not a small boy!

    16. So this guy has refused to go home simply because he posted on Facebook; “A father that is not like Dangote, is that one a father” and his father liked it. #You_Have_Deading! #Lol**

    17. That moment when you’re drunk and want to jump across a gutter not knowing you are about to jump off third mainland bridge. #Eeeyaaah!

    18. How Can you Pay 60k For DNA
    Somethinq dah Babalawo will do For you 1k …And Even Show u The Video

    19. Everytime you get dressed, remember that if you die, that’s gonna be your ghost outfit forever… Ladies, don’t be promiscuous in your dressing, so you don’t get raped twice (in real life and in ghost mode)… #Lol**

    20. Happiness is when you’re sitting close to your Landlord in Church, whilst you haven’t paid your rent and the Pastor says: “Turn to your neighbor and say JESUS HAS PAID MY DEBTS!” #Hehehehehe**

    21.
    So Because The Doctor Asked You To Change Your Drinking Habit, You Now Drink Beer With Spoon.
    You will not kill me o… I’m trying to hold ma faint.

    22.
    A friend of mine asked me if I’m willing to go to London… See question!!
    Who wants to stay in this Nigeria where
    1. Fowls rape themselves.
    2. Exam questions come out before the proposed examination date. #Mtcheew!
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
    Hehehehehehehehehehehe… Which one did it for you palz??
    #Lol**
    Welcome to Exam Kits Gists,

    AvPhun.

    • This topic was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by  control.
    #3826

    Anonymous

    lol

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